Gundam Seed - Lost Memories by Kouryou Sabre
by Spiritblade
Summary: Kouryou Sabre's GSD - Lion of Heaven side stories. Revolves around the OCs in the main GSD - Lion of Heaven, Edited story.
1. Chapter 1

_**In Memory of Kouryuo Sabre, who passed away on August 8**__**th**__** 2012**_

_**Fellow writer and creator, comrade and confidante**_

_**Writer of Gundam SeeD Destiny, Lion of Heaven, whose vision,**_

_**Gave me a chance to pave the road upon which he made.**_

_**You will be missed, brother. Entrust to me your dream, and watch as it is made real.**_

_**The Almighty watch over you and keep thee safe.**_

**(O) **

_**Spiritblade, 26**__**th**__** October 2012**_


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: No profit being made. I'm still in the poor house working a regular 40+ hours a week job. So all you lawyers who are looking to sue me for some sort of royalty suit, BUZZ OFF!

Now this was an idea I had awhile ago and I forgot all about it until recently. That and the fact I was doing some cleanup on my computer and I saw this old file labeled "Heaven's Lion Origin Story-Ideas". In there, I found that I had written out some short storylines that were meant to help explain some parts of my Gundam SEED Destiny: Lion of Heaven. Each chapter will be one-shots but will also help explain some of the reason why things are unfolding the way they are in the primary story. So on with the story.

_**Author's Note (From Spiritblade): **_**Let it be known that Kouryuo Saber, original writer and owner of the Gundam SeeD Destiny projects – Lion of Heaven and Lion of Heaven: Lost Memories – has passed away on August 8****th**** 2012. I, Spiritblade, was entrusted the task of finishing what he started. And, God willing, I will see it done. Chapters written after Chapter 2 will all be written by me.  
**

The Lion of Heaven: Lost Memories.

Chapter One: The spark that ignited a Wildfire.

-Takes place after Kira and Cagalli are release from Andrew Wartfield's ZAFT Command base in the desert-

Lieutenant Natarle Badgiruel of the Earth Alliance and as Second-In-Command of the new assault ship, the Archangel, was definitely not in the best of moods.

When the captain of the Archangel, Murrue Ramius, ordered Kira Yamato to accompany her and the rest of the rebels from the Desert Dawn into town in order to replenish some necessary supplies, she knew it was a bad idea from the start. The only two people that were capable of defending the ship from any kind of ZAFT attack were Major Mwu La Flaga and the Coordinator. The ship may have had two Skygraspers in it's inventory but only the Major was qualified enough to use one to its full potential. With Kira accompanying them into two, that severely cut the attack strength they had in half.

However, she reluctantly went along with the idea when Murrue told her that if Kira did nothing but get in and out of the mobile suit, he would start losing whatever it was that gave him the edge fight off any attackers. Even if Kira was a Coordinator, he had his limits and constantly using him as primary line of defense solider would make him reach those limits at the worst possible time. Natarle could understand that kind of logic but she knew from the way the words left Murrue's lips that her mindset wasn't in that of a commanding officer but more of a overprotective sister to even a motherly figure.

Natarle could feel her opinion of the captain to lower a little when she realized that Murrue was beginning to become attached to the boy. Though she was in the same back seat of the desert jeep that Kira was on, she couldn't help but glance at him from time to time and try to see what it was that the captain had saw in him. Thankfully, her sunglasses made it so that no one would really notice her looking at the young Coordinator.

From the way his eyes were staring off into the nothingness that was the desert, Natarle could tell Kira was definitely thinking about something that either troubled him to his very core or something he had never truly considered. Perhaps it was both but Natarle wasn't about to let her mind wander on that.

Refocusing her mind on what had transpired back in the town was more than enough to test her patience than when she first tried to convince the late-Admiral Halberton about keeping Kira Yamato within the Earth Alliance Military. Though he had silenced her about such convictions, she felt as though the Admiral had created a devastating defeat for them as a whole by letting the boy go.

When they found out that the café Cagalli had said she and Kira would meet them at when their transactions with the Black Market dealer were over had been devastated but what appeared to be a guerrilla attack, Natarle began to weigh the odds on what the chances were that Kira was alive or not. Judging by some of the local's accounts of the attack, it seemed that Kira and Cagalli were alive before being taken away by some ZAFT soldiers. Kira was and still is by most accounts, a civilian with no real military training so it would be no real surprise that he would either let something slip that he shouldn't or get involved in some foolhardy attempt to get him and Cagalli to safety which would carry the likely result of them getting shot in the attempt.

After they had made their report to Murrue, Natarle asked around to find out where the ZAFT Commander was based at. It took about four tries before she found out where Kira and Cagalli might be at but it only took the first person she asked to learn who it was that was holding them captive.

Andrew Wartfield A.K.A., the Desert Tiger.

That thought alone was enough to tip the scale on the odds of Kira still being alive against him in a flash. The Desert Tiger was definitely a skilled tactician and definitely knew how to get into the minds of his opponents. Kira would provide no challenge against an experienced military soldier like that.

Using the knowledge that everything had happen within a short amount of time, Natarle knew that there was chance, albeit a small one, that the Desert Tiger didn't know who he had yet which meant his guard would be off. Even if it was only by a little, it would have to be enough to in order to mount a very hastily put-together rescue plan. But before any kind of plan could be made, Natarle had to see the building that young Coordinator was in. Convincing the others from the rebel Desert Dawn to follow her wasn't too hard since they knew that Cagalli was with Kira was well. Unfortunately, that made Natarle realize something she hadn't thought about before.

While compared to Cagalli, Kira was a bit more reserved so the chances of him acting out on his emotions when confronting the Desert Tiger were definitely less. But Natarle knew that it would only take a couple of minutes of just being in the presence of Commander Wartfield before Cagalli tried to exact some kind of revenge on him. Kira did report that Cagalli and the rest of the survivors of those that tried to attack Wartfield after he had burned their village to the ground were definitely upset at their loss.

'Leave it to emotions to cause something you cannot afford to happen simply happen.' Natarle thought to herself as her and the group made their way to the building that ZAFT was using as their base.

As soon as they were within three blocks of the building, Natarle could already tell that their odds of sneaking in and getting those two out were going to be about the same as a snowball lasting an hour in Hell itself. Using her military experience and her training, Natarle was able to formulate three possible scenarios should they decide to enter into the compound.

The first one involved sneaking into the building and extracting Kira at the cost of some of the rebels as well as Cagalli herself.

Natarle knew that if happened, the Desert Dawn rebels would probably be less inclined to help the crew of the Archangel since there was a chance that their leader who was with them at the time would probably be killed.

That meant the second scenario involved them coming back with more troops as well as better equipment but the time required to do so would more than they could afford.

That left the third scenario. The only thing they could do that would give them the greatest chance of success would be to hijack of their mobile suits and use it as a surprise attack. Unfortunately, for the sake of success, they needed a mobile suit pilot and none of the people present had the tactical ability to operate one effectively.

Natarle let out a small string of curses as she realized that there was nothing that could be done right now to rescue Kira or even Cagalli if they wanted to.

Just as she was about to voice these defeats to the others, one of them who had a pair of binoculars aimed at the building said something that Natarle never would have believed at all where someone like the Desert Tiger was concerned.

It seemed that Andrew Wartfield had decided to let Cagalli and Kira go. Natarle practically ripped the binoculars out of the man's hand to see the truth for herself. It took her mind several seconds to register what her eyes were seeing. The reason for that was because she distinctly remembered Cagalli wearing something more befitting a person living in a desert along side a group of rebels before now. Why she was wearing that, Natarle couldn't even venture a guess.

The second the both of them were escorted out, the group wasted no time in picking them up and getting out of the town as fast as they could. Whatever the reason why they were release so easily like that, Natarle didn't want to waste another second since there was still a chance the Desert Tiger might change his mind and believe that letting them go was a tactical error.

The entire ride back to the base camp where the Archangel was in the jeep that carried both Natarle and Kira was in silence. However, in the corner of her eye, Natarle could see, even though she couldn't hear, that jeep that carried Cagalli was a little livelier that she thought it would be. But then again, since Cagalli was going back to the base in an attire that made her more feminine looking than the tomboy-ish look she had on before, people were definitely going to see her in a different light.

Even Natarle herself saw Cagalli differently since it seemed from the way Cagalli was sitting in the jeep, she had experience in wearing such outfits before since she was keeping her hands on her lap in order to keep the dress from accidentally catching a gust of wind and begin flying all over the place. That and the way she carried herself into the jeep was another clue as well.

From the way Cagalli had acted when Natarle first saw her and heard how she spoke out when Mwu La Flaga tried convince everyone that the destruction of their village was something of a blessing, Natarle could easily tell that Cagalli's actions were the same as someone out to prove something. Whatever it was, Cagalli seemed to believe wholeheartedly that being with the Desert Dawn would bring her to that goal.

Refocusing her thought back to the young Coordinator, Natarle decided to ask a question to him. Not only to kill the silence but to get an idea as to what had transpired throughout that entire time.

"Kira,"

Though Kira turned to face Natarle, she kept her gaze forward, in a sense creating a kind of test to see if Kira would try to be deceptive in his answer.

"What happened at the café that you two were supposed to meet us at?"

Kira looked downward before answering his superior officer. "Cagalli wanted to eat something while we waited for you to come pick us up. After our orders came, man in a hat and sunglasses named Andrew Wartfield came up to our table and told Cagalli that what she had ordered was supposed to have a certain kind of sauce on it other than what she had put on."

'The Desert Tiger, giving gourmet advice to complete strangers? That can't be right.' Natarle thought while she listened to Kira's story.

"About a couple of minutes later, some people from the Blue Cosmos faction attack the café out of nowhere and Cagalli and I were caught in the middle. ZAFT troops came out of nowhere as well and began to take out the Blue Cosmos members. When it was over, Cagalli was safe but got covered in sauce and Mr. Wartfield revealed himself to be a ZAFT Commander. Cagalli instantly recognized him as the Desert Tiger."

Natarle absorbed this information and could tell that Kira was being truthful in his words. However, something didn't quite fit in this picture.

'If Cagalli recognized the Desert Tiger, then why didn't Kira and why call him Mr. Wartfield?'

"What happened next Kira?"

"After it was over, Mr. Wartfield took us back his base and offered to clean up Cagalli since he believed he owed me a favor for saving his life."

Natarle was more than shocked when she heard that. The thought itself repeated in her mind several times over. She even began to doubt what she had heard, that Kira Yamato actually went so far as to save an enemy's life.

"You didn't, right? He only thought you did since it looked like the firefight happened rather fast and was a bit brutal." Natarle decided to give Kira the benefit of the doubt. It wasn't a stretch to believe that the Blue Cosmos fanatics would have killed everyone insight around the ZAFT Commander in order to get to him.

Before Kira could answer, the driver of the jeep announced that they had arrived at their destination. Though Natarle was waiting for an answer, Kira said nothing even after the jeep pulled into one of the caves that they were using as both shelter and storage. Almost automatically, Kira began walking to the Archangel and it was still evident on his face that he was still thinking a great deal on a specific topic. Before Natarle could follow, the ensign that accompanied her on the trip asked her what she wanted done with the supplies that they had brought back with them. Natarle wasn't about to let Kira walk away without an explanation on what he had told her so she quickly told the ensign where each and what supplies goes where.

By the time she finished giving out the order, Natarle had to run up to Kira to catch up to him. When she did, both of them were walking the hallways of the Archangel.

"Kira, answer me. Did you or did you not save Andrew Wartfield's life?" Natarle's voice carried her usually command tone to show Kira that she wanted an answer right now.

"Yes, Natarle, I did. One of the Blue Cosmos attack squad guys was about to fire his rifle at Mr. Wartfield and me and Cagalli were right in the line of fire. I took one of the guns that had fallen to the ground and threw it at him. While he was distracted, I ran at him and planted my foot in his face to knock him out. After that, the fighting was over."

Kira's eyes definitely showed how he felt at the moment and it was that of annoyance. Not annoyance when he admitted to saving the Desert Tiger's life, but annoyance since he knew that Natarle would definitely disprove of his actions.

"Why didn't you simply just evacuate the area during the firefight? What possessed you to simply stay right in the middle of the crossfire?" Natarle's patience was wearing thin with Kira. If these were the kinds of decisions he made outside of being a mobile suit pilot, then it would have to be rectified to meet the needs of her standards.

"We got pinned as soon as the fighting broke out. They used a rocket launcher for their first move and the explosion barely missed the two of us. When the smoke cleared enough for me to see, those guys were attacking from all points and I couldn't do nothing without endangering Cagalli's life! Captain Ramius ordered me to be her bodyguard during this supply run. Would you rather I go against her orders just for the sake of taking out an enemy?"

"If the enemy was as important as someone like the Desert Tiger then yes. Cagalli would have understood since it was he who order that village destroyed several days ago or have you forgotten?" Natarle didn't want to make it sound as harsh as it did but what she had said was the core truth of it all.

"So the only way to win is to make sure all of the enemy is dead no matter what the sacrifice?"

"This is war. If you have a problem wrestling with your morals then you should remember it was you who made the choice to join the war in the first place."

"At gunpoint! By both you and by ZAFT."

Natarle was ready for that. She knew Kira would always have that at the ready if ever someone decided to get him to do what they felt was necessary.

"Every choice you've made has been made by you and you alone. No one forced you to do anything. You could have easily chosen to go the other way when the time came on whether to go left or right and you chose to go left. ZAFT maybe pointing guns at you, but that's because you choose to wear the uniform and to ZAFT, that's the same as wearing a bull's-eye on your back."

"Then what about the time I said no to being the pilot of the Strike when Murrue and Mwu came up to me and asked or rather simply said that the situation was dire and I was pretty much the only one who could tip the scale back in your favor?"

Natarle narrowed her eyes at that. It confirmed two things: the first was that Kira would definitely hold some kind of grudge against the three of them for more or less strong arming him into becoming the pilot of the G-Weapon. The second was that Mwu and Murrue had also, whether intentionally or not, created the idea that Kira was the only who could defend the Archangel. While this was true in one concept since he was half of the attack strength, it also made him believe he could become or was something more than he himself believed. If that was the case, there was definitely a chance he would let this go to his head without even realizing it.

'Time for a dose of reality.'

"What they said was more of a confidence booster than anything. If you were as good as they believed you to be, you would have been able to handle your own against ZAFT when they attacked us not too long after planet fall. If it wasn't for the assistance of the rebels, you would have been beaten by the BuCuues and right now we would either be dead or hopefully rotting in some ZAFT interment camp but sincerely doubt there are any on Earth right now." Natarle said each word with as much honesty and dead seriousness she could.

Natarle could see in the young man's eyes that he understood what she meant. Hopefully, she believed it was enough to put him back on the track to becoming a soldier.

"If you don't like the way that I fight then why don't you get in the cockpit of that damned machine and fight for a change other than barking out orders like a hard-ass military bitch." Kira wasn't one to cuss like that but Natarle's words reminded him of his past two failures and those wounds hurt him as they did when he first received them. Because of that, he meant those words that he had said to her face without even realizing it.

Natarle was never one to let her emotions get the better of her when someone threw such words right at her face but something about the way Kira said it definitely struck a nerve with her. As Kira began to walk away from the military officer, Natarle felt her anger grew past the point that her military conditioning could control.

"Listen here, you selfish brat!" Natarle went to grab Kira's arm with the full intention of stopping him and giving him a world-class chewing out. However, she had forgotten his strength was greater than hers so it came as a surprise to her when Kira almost effortlessly yanked his arm.

However, Natarle wasn't the only one surprised. Somehow, Natarle's grip was strong to hold onto Kira's arm despite his effort to pull away. Because of sudden energy and motion, Natarle was pulled right into Kira and both of them came crashing down onto the metal floor. Both of them let out a collective 'oof' when they hit since for Kira, he never had something as big as Natarle land on him and Natarle had never fallen on something that could be roughly described in her mind as a marble statue.

Both of them had the wind knocked out of them. Kira felt his head bounce off the ground when he landed so his head was in somewhat a daze. Natarle somehow bumped her forehead when she fell as well so her mind was in a similar condition.

While both of their minds reoriented themselves, their bodies began to realize their current position. As they began to feel each other's warmth, they also began to slowly take in the other's shape and form. For Kira, this was the second time he had felt the female figure so intimately close to him and thus found it hard to think of anything else other than where Natarle and herself were currently positioned. Since he had only been with Fllay once, he had no real way to judge how developed Natarle was but he definitely could make an accurate guess. Another thing that surprised him the most was Natarle's scent. Kira had half-expected Natarle's scent to be that of her current surrounding: either bland like the metal corridors of the Archangel or extremely faint as the desert outside. But instead there were definite traces of lilacs and orchids in just the right mixture to make it almost intoxicating but only if you were in close proximity as Kira currently was.

While Kira was taking what his sense were telling him, Natarle's senses were doing the same for her. Even for someone as young as Kira, Natarle was amazed at how toned his body felt. Natarle had never seen him do anything that would be even remotely called physical exercise when he wasn't piloting the Strike. She might have believed that since he was a Coordinator, his body could have been designed in this fashion but from what she knew about Coordinators, such a thing was only a rumor, wasn't it?

Since her face was right along side his, Natarle also took in Kira's unique scent. Since she had never been this close to Kira before, she couldn't believe how pleasant his scent was to her. So pleasant that she began to lose herself to it. Once long ago, she had encountered a smell that only in her mind was something that could only come from the Heaven's themselves and in a sense she was right. When she was young, she remembered that whenever spring rain had finished, she would go to a spot she had found in a forest, specifically a clearing in the forest, that wasn't too far from where she had lived and there, spend as much time as she could taking in the beauty of such a rare find. With flowers in bloom, pine trees nearby and grass coated in raindrops, Nature had shown her that there was still beauty in the world.

Right now, at this point in time in her life, she had found it again in a way she never thought possible.

Slowly and all on instinct, Natarle lifted her head so that her eyes could look directly in Kira's eyes. As she did so, she could feel her heart pounding in her chest like never before. Her mind began to race, trying to find what it was that was making her feel this way but eventually stopped as she began to lose herself in amethyst eyes of the Coordinator. While this happened to her, it was also happening to Kira. His eyes locked onto Natarle's as well and he too was becoming lost in a gaze he had never seen before from her. It was as if he was looking out into the gentle waves of the ocean itself.

As their breathing became more and more heavy with each passing second, their minds had completely thrown away any form of reasoning and were operating solely on instinct. It was at this moment, both of them saw the other in a light they had never seen before.

Natarle saw in Kira's eyes a kind of caring nature that carried an innocent with it she had not seen in the longest of time. Along with his caring and innocent was a strength she had never expected him to have but it was there all the same. Those alone were more than enough to convince her that despite his earlier words, he would protect her, even die for her if it ever came to it. As she continued to stare, she something else.

She saw a deep feeling of loneliness. Right to very core of his soul.

When it came to what Kira saw in Natarle's eyes it was completely different but for some reason, he had seen it before somewhere else with someone else. He saw a look of yearning for something that she had lost when she was younger and had just now found again after all this time and in the unlikely of places. Next to that was look of loneliness but it was the kind that spoke to him wherever she was, it wasn't her that was there, it was someone else completely and the real her would always be screaming for anyone to be there just for her. Because of Kira's core nature, this drew him like a moth to the flame but unlike the moth, this flame wouldn't burn him so easily.

Kira would gladly accept this flame for all it was and hold onto it with everything he had.

By her own instinct, Natarle slowly moved closer to Kira's face, with the full intention of capturing his lips with her own. She could feel his breathing becoming heavier as she got closer which all the more increased her desire to taste his lips. Her own breathing, which was becoming equally heavy, was also capturing Kira's interest which told him to stay still and wait for what his instinct were yelling at him about something that was soon to feel just right.

Unfortunately, when their lips were mere millimeters away from touching, Natarle's military training finally broke free of her instincts and commanded her to stop. A part of Natarle wanted to break down and cry for all she was worth because of the interruption but her military side was grateful from not doing what it had considered to be a gross violation of conduct on her part. She was trained not to fraternize with a fellow soldier since during war time, emotions would get in the way of the mission and certainly not with an underage person like Kira.

Closing her eyes and slowly getting up to her feet, Natarle Badgiruel forced herself to walk away from what she suspected was an extremely confused Kira Yamato. Had she looked back before she turned the corner and began walking to her quarters to change, she would have noticed that Kira Yamato was far from confused. If anything, his mind was telling him over and over again about the conversation he had with Andrew Wartfield.

"How do you determine the winner and losers in a war? When all your enemies are destroyed?"

Though Kira did have what many would consider a friendly conversation with the Desert Tiger, they were definitely not friends as he pointed out by saying that one sentence before walking away from him.

"See you on the battlefield."

Kira could swear before this day had happen, he knew just as much about the Desert Tiger as he did with his commanding officer and Second-in-Command of the ship. But now he knew better. Now, in the strangest sense he could think of, he knew her. Like Fllay, she had lost a lot and needed someone to be there for her, to help her walk on a path that terrified her despite whatever mask she had on. It stood to reason that there was a time long ago before any kind of military training, Natarle Badgiruel was once like what he and his friends were like before they enlisted into the service.

Because of that, it made Kira kick himself for even thinking about a decision that enter into his mind after the conversation he had with the ZAFT Commander. He thought about it the entire length of the trip from the town to the Archangel. If what had happened never did, Kira was dead certain he would have made the decision he was right now regretting of even thinking.

When the sun went down and night fell, Kira Yamato would leave the Archangel and never look back. He knew the other would hate him for it, but this wasn't him and he didn't have the will to live this life any longer. He was already fighting against someone he knew and there were times he had nearly killed him and now as Fate would have it, he would have to do it all over again when the next battle came and that was something he knew he couldn't live with. Next time around, he would have to kill Andrew Wartfield or be killed himself.

However, now that he had seen the true face of Natarle Badgiruel, he couldn't walk away.

Not now. Not ever.

As Kira picked himself up and began walking to his quarters to change outfits as well, he idly wonder what it was that Natarle was thinking about since it was a safe guess her mind was focusing on had happened and what might have happened. But he then dismissed it entirely since he figured she would have put all of those kinds of thoughts into a box, wrap it up in duct tape and throw it out the window. Out of sight, out of mind, so to speak. Figuring it was the best, Kira decided to do the same thing as well and never bring it up unless Natarle did which he could only assume would be never.

However, Kira's guess couldn't be further from the truth even if he tried. Once Natarle had made it back to her quarters, she immediately locked the door and kind of dropped herself onto her bed. Though she was sitting up, to her, it felt as though her entire body lost all of her strength and wanted so desperately fall asleep even though it barely the middle of the afternoon time. She could still feel her heart pounding as hard as it was when she was just about to kiss Kira and it didn't seemed it was about to let up any time soon. Never in her life could she remember her heart acting this way before. It was excited and in a strange way, was coming back to life after being asleep for so long.

What was happening to her right now was something that Natarle didn't want to happen, at least not right now and especially not with him.

For the next ten minutes, Natarle forced her heart back into submission and was able to put all of that 'incident' behind her. Kira Yamato was the only mobile suit pilot they had at their disposal which also meant the odds of him making it back alive from every sortie would continually grow against him. Unless his mobile suit skills continued to grow as they had been from her point of view, there was going to be a battle coming soon where Kira would not make it out alive. That alone forced her not to get attached to him like Mwu La Flaga and Murrue Ramius were doing. The ship she was on needed at least one person who could think clear headed enough when the time came for tough decisions.

This was the constant thought in her mind as she put her Earth Alliance uniform back on. Looking once over in the body-length mirror and seeing no visible faults with her uniform, Natarle headed to the door in order to return to her duties. The second she took a step outside her quarters, she felt someone moist on her left cheek. Wiping it away and noticing it was a tear, Natarle was dumbfounded as to why it happened. The ship's ventilation system was designed so no allergen or dust particle could float around in the hallways. Feeling that she didn't have time to wonder why she left out a tear, Natarle brushed off of her fingers and headed to the bridge of the ship to deal with her responsibilities.

Long ago, a not-so-well-known truth was established about tears and the reasons why they are formed. In its simplest form, one cry when one is hurt and yet physically nothing is wrong with them. You may be able to force yourself to cry fake tears but there are times when you shed tears for what seem like no reason at all. In those times, it is because one's heart is hurting so much that it has to cry or it will die from its own growing sadness.

Such is the case for one Natarle Badgiruel, but unfortunately for her, her military training told her that she was above such things that were deemed petty and unnecessary. What it was telling her do to now was what she had done so many times before ever since her family told her how much value was placed in tradition and following the path of the soldier.

Leave it behind and never look back.

Well, that completes this first chapter. I hope it better explains why I chose certain paths for the main story. Didn't want to create a lot of uncertainty which it seem I might be doing without even realizing it and for that I am sorry. I'm working on my other stories as fast as I can and its rather hard when writer's block likes to mess with you when you least expect it or even want it to happen. Also, give props to Spiritblade on this as well since his Gundam SeeD one-shots is what inspired me to create this little project of mine as well as continually kicking my butt to get me to write out the chapters of the story as fast as possible. Slave driver he's not, but damned effective when he wants to be when getting results. I haven't decided if this should be an M-Rating, since if anything this will be like Behind-The-Scenes in this project. And because of that, there might be a lemon scene some time down the road but only happen when I have to create the necessary feeling for all the characters that are involved in this. If your wondering if one of them will involve Natarle and Kira, there won't be one.

Or maybe there will be, who knows?

Like any story, it evolves and grows with each passing page. So Read and Review when you've got the time.

Until next time.

**X X X**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Don't need one since I don't own anything of what I use in my imagination.

The Lion of Heaven: Lost Memories.

Chapter 2: The Azure Pegasus.

-Takes place around the time Nicol and Athrun are sent to Earth to join up with Yzac and Dearka.-

It had been a long since she had a chance to take a shore leave that was longer than three days and she spent every moment of it doing what she loved to do. Going to the one colony in all of PLANT that allowed to have wild stallions roam amongst the artificial landscape and always try the wildest one that they had there. Of course there were only so many that lived on the colony and all of them were rather wild but compared to one and only one among them all, there was one that accepted no rider no matter how much experience they boasted or how skilled they seemed. A snow white stallion of what she definitely considered of unparalleled magnificent beauty that rarely let anyone get close to him let alone let someone ride it. Every time she went to the colony, she would always see someone trying to and fail miserably in the span of 10 seconds. The beast's spirit was so great that it intimidated all who even approached it but for Tiffa Ayanami, it helped renew her strength and spirit whenever she needed it.

XXXXX

Long before she ever enlisted into ZAFT and before the Bloody Valentine War broke out, Tiffa Ayanami would spend all of her free time trying to tame this one beast ever since she first laid eyes on it when she was just a child. For her 9th birthday, her parents, when they were still alive, took her to the colony as a present from them to see animals that she had only seen on the entertainment programs on the vid-screen back home and began to fantasize about them. Of all the animals she had saw that day, the white stallion was the only one she couldn't take her eyes off of. Before they had left the colony to go back home, Tiffa had spent as much time as she could to learn as much as she could about that magnificent beast.

For the following months afterwards, she had spent most of her waking days learning all there was to know. From her parent's point of view, it would have seemed that their daughter would choose a life of a veterinary. A part of them was proud beyond words since it seemed that their only child had found a life that would her away from the lifestyle that the Earth Alliance was starting to impose to the people of the colonies. Though as hard as they tried to spare her of such things, there were days where Tiffa did experience the whip-cracking of the Earth Alliance and each time, it did hurt her as much as it hurt her parents.

Had they had lived, they would have done everything in their power to support her in this hobby-turned-way of life.

The day Tiffa learned of her parent's demise, it was almost too much for her to bear. To learn that her mother and her father were killed because of a fatal malfunction onboard their passenger shuttle and nearest ship that could help them was an Earth Alliance vessel that 'couldn't make it' in time. She wasn't the only one turned into an orphan that day but her world was equally devastated as everyone else that was concerned. Having no other family to take her in, which was due to the fact she was a Second-Generation Coordinator and her closest relative was a uncle who was a Natural with a prejudice view, Tiffa was sent to an orphanage until they find suitable living conditions for her.

During the entire time that her whole world had been crushed, Tiffa was in daze state. Even the people from the orphanage that came to take her could have sworn that she was in a kind of coma. On the surface it was such for her, but inside Tiffa's mind, it was working like never before. Just as she was about to be put into the car that would take her to the orphanage, Tiffa took off running as fast as she could and as hard as she could to a destination that her mind had concluded that the one answer she was looking for among all this chaos that happened to her.

The adults tried to catch her but even they failed to keep her in sight despite the fact most of her running was done in a straight line. It even surprised Tiffa herself as to how fast she was running. When the people who were chasing her were out of sight, Tiffa headed over to the space port of the colony in order to catch a ride to a certain place. At the time, security measures weren't as tight as they were now so it was easier for her to sneak into a shuttle without being spotted. Also, it was equally easy for her to exit the shuttle even though one person saw her and tried to give chase but Tiffa easily outran him.

With nothing but the clothes on her back, Tiffa couldn't afford to call a cab in order to get to her destination and it also made her realize that she had nothing else to use in terms of currency. But it didn't matter to her. In fact, very little matter to her save for the one thing in her mind and heart at the moment.

By the time she reached the general area of where she wanted to be, it was technically nightfall for the colony. In a way, this best suited her since she was too tired to try and outrun anyone else who might see her since she was trespassing. For all of her running and having to climb all those fences that obstructed her path, her strength was reaching her limit.

She remembered that field was vast the last time she saw it but for some reason, it seemed so much bigger than before. This didn't deter her in the least, she had come this far and was not going to stop until she saw it again. Without having a clue where to look, Tiffa decided to try and think like it in order to make an educated guess where it might be. Since the land that she was on had a small river running through the middle, it was a good first place to start looking along its banks.

After reaching it and walked along it for what seemed like hours, Tiffa was on the verge of giving up hope until she saw it drinking from the water on the opposite side of the bank. Even in the light of the starry night, Tiffa was still at a lost for words as to how beautiful the white stallion was. Either it didn't notice her or ignored her, Tiffa was able to walk until she was right in front of it but still on the other side of the river.

When it noticed her, the white stallion simply looked at her, as though it was slightly curious but its eyes also showed that it was mildly bored at from what it seeing. After several seconds of their eyes locking onto each other's, the stallion began walking away once it snort out how disinterested he was with what he saw. Tiffa heard this and felt as though it was an attack of her person as well as her pride. Since the stallion was walking along the bank on it's side, Tiffa began matching it's stride on her side of the bank. The white stallion saw this and decided to add more speed in it's steps and showed how curious it was when Tiffa matched it's speed in a heart beat. This pattern continued for a minute or two. The white stallion would increase it's speed and Tiffa would match it. However, only known to Tiffa was that her body was screaming at her in both pain and a demanding her to stop since she was dangerously close to reaching her limit and quite possibly it would cost her life if she kept continuing this strange test the stallion was giving to her.

When the banks of the river got close enough to each other, the white stallion jumped it and came face to face with Tiffa. It noticed how winded she was and how close she was to collapse but it also saw that she was refusing to let herself fall over from exhaustion. The white stallion tried to frighten her by standing on it's hind legs and coming down within inches in front of Tiffa. Not only did she not move from her position, she didn't even blink. Both of them stared into each other's eyes for a minute before the white stallion turned away and began walking from Tiffa. Tiffa put all of her strength that she had left, which was next to nothing, into her legs and began chasing after the white stallion. The beast heard the footsteps of Tiffa coming close to it and decided to see if she could keep up with it in a flat out sprint. Not bothering to look back, the beast knew that Tiffa was indeed following it at the same speed it was traveling at. If it wasn't for the fact that she was a Second-generation Coordinator, Tiffa would have had no chance in keeping up with the white stallion. The race between the two of them didn't last long, seconds at best, until Tiffa's strength finally gave out on her and falling onto the ground rather hard. Due to the momentum she had before falling down, Tiffa skidded across the ground for several feet.

Her body was so exhausted that she didn't feel the ground grating against her skin and the few rocks in the ground that dug into her body. The cuts and scrapes weren't all bad but there were a few where her blood was leaving her body at a steady rate. With no strength to even more her neck, Tiffa could only see what was in front of her face and it wasn't much since the grass was rather tall and obstruct a good deal of her view.

Tiffa didn't care the state of her body since it seemed now everything she once cherished had been taken away from her. She had finally understood the reason why she had come to this place after learning her parents were killed. Her parent's were a part of her life as well as a part of her dreams. She had always wanted to make them proud of her and it showed when they fully supported her in what she had originally wanted to do. The main source of all of her dreams came from the white stallion that had tried to chase. She knew from what she had saw that the stallion accepted no rider for it was too wild to be tamed. Tiffa knew that if she could keep up with the beast with her own strength, then she would know without a doubt she had the strength to pursue her dreams.

But now, reality had told her she didn't. She had nothing left to say otherwise and had resigned herself to simply lay in the very spot she was in and rot away. As her mind began to drift into unconsciousness, she was able to see one last thing and that was the white stallion walking up to her. After that, nothingness consumed her entirely.

The white stallion looked down on Tiffa with a gaze that said it's curiosity was satisfied. It had learned what it wanted to know from this person. With as much grace as possible, the white stallion picked up Tiffa and lightly flung her onto her back. If the beast had the ability to speak in our language, it would have said to the sleeping girl that this was the first time it had allowed someone to be on its back. Once the beast knew that Tiffa would not fall off, it slowly began to walk to the building where it's supposed 'master' lived.

Once the beast was outside the building, noticed that no one inside was awake. It could have caused a commotion to wake them up but that meant it would wake up the little one as well. The white stallion knew that Tiffa needed her sleep and decided against such actions until she either recovered enough or it's 'master' would wake up on it's own. Going with the second option, the beast walked into the stable area and found one of the stalls to be empty. After walking inside and laying down without disturbing Tiffa from her sleep, the white stallion figured it wouldn't be able to do much of anything until she woke up. Resting its head, it took one more look at Tiffa and noticed that she was smiling despite the fact that her body was injured and had suffered some blood loss. This had confirmed the white stallion's conclusion that it had made when it first decided to place her on it's back.

For all the people it had seen in the entirety of it's life, this was quite possibly the most exceptional person it had ever seen. It was definitely interested to see what tomorrow would bring.

Once daybreak had come, the owner of the white stallion, who had begun to do his usually routine with the animals he had on his property, was rather surprised to see what the sight before him. He knew the white stallion barely accepted him to even be near him but he also knew it allowed no one on it's back no matter what. He could barely count how many rider were thrown off of his back in just the first year alone on this colony which was more than enough to prove his untamable spirit. So seeing a little girl, who was clearly injured from some nasty wounds but was still alive, resting on its back while the white stallion itself took great steps in ensuring that her slumber wasn't disturbed was a sight he would have bet against from ever seeing in his lifetime.

Recently he had begun thinking about sending the white stallion back to Earth, mostly because it was too wild and had proven untamable after all known methods failed to reign in the beast. But now, seeing this made him rethink all of that. However, all those thoughts were put aside when he heard the little girl make a sound that resembled a groan of pain. As gently as possible, he picked up the girl into his arms and took her inside the building in order to treat her wounds. His knowledge of medicine was a bit limited however he did know enough to treat the little girl's wound. Since he didn't have a spare bed for her to lay on, the couch in the main living room had to do for now.

Once all her wounds were bound and treated, the man decided to find out who she was since he certainly didn't recognize her at all. Even though he knew that someone with her hair coloring, which was a dark blue, was rare even for a Coordinator, it certainly didn't create any kind of sparks in his memory. Hopefully when she woke up, he would get some answers but for the time being, he wouldn't call the authorities. This decision was based on one and only one fact. If the white stallion allowed her to be on its back, she certainly wasn't a threat of any kind at the moment.

Tiffa didn't know how long she was out but when she did regain consciousness, she certainly didn't remember how she wound up where she was at the moment. As soon as she realized where she was, Tiffa tried to get up in order to get a better understanding of her surroundings but her body didn't have the strength to support her commands. Her body was almost numb and her head was still in a fog. She tried her hardest to remember on how she got to where she was but the only thoughts that entered into her mind were her parents and the white stallion.

"Ah, I see you're finally awake. Even for a Coordinator, you must have pushed yourself to your absolute limits if you are as exhausted as you look."

Tiffa turned to see a rather large man holding a coffee cup in one hand and a newspaper in the other. From the way his dark brown beard and hair look, which had traces of white in it, he was clearly in his late forties to possibly fifties. His brown eyes carried a look of sympathy which reassured Tiffa since a part of her was worried that she was somewhere that she shouldn't be.

"If you're thinking about getting up right now, I advise against it for the time being. Coordinator or not, no one young like you simply walks away from such injuries after just getting them." he said after he saw her vain attempts to sit upright.

Tiffa let the dizziness pass over her before she spoke to the older man. "Where am I right now?"

"You're in my home. I found you sleeping on the back of Pegasus which is something of a mystery even though I am definitely just as curious as to how you got onto my property in the first place."

It took a moment for her mind to come back into the grips of reality due to her exhaustion but eventually Tiffa's mind began to replay her most recent memories. At first, all she could think about was what she felt when they told her that her parents were dead. For the longest time, that was all she thought about. Until she remembered what the man had said to her.

"Um, you said I was on the back of, um, Pegasus?" Tiffa asked with a growing hope in her eyes.

"Yeah. I call that white stallion that name since no one can even get near him without either being scared off by him or thrown off after trying to get on his back. For him to even allow you to be on him, let alone sleep on his back is something I would never expect in a million years." the old man then took his seat in one of the nearby chairs to the couch before he continued. "So, unless time flew by while I was asleep last night and its Cosmic Era 1,000,000, care to tell me how you got him to be so friendly towards you?"

Tiffa took a moment to organize her thoughts before she told the old man everything that had happened to her recently. Her recent tragedy as well as her journey to the colony. As he sat there and listened to it all, he began to understand why Pegasus did what he did. Even though he owned the beast on a sheet of paper, Pegasus was his own master and rarely let anyone in but somehow he had peered into this girl's soul and decided that she was, for a lack of a better word at the moment, worthy. To go through all of that just to see him was a trial that he had never thought anyone would go through just for the white stallion. In a way, it seemed fitting considering Pegasus's history with all the other would-be riders.

Once Tiffa was done, he took several minutes to think about what his next move should be. From a legal standpoint, he would eventually have to contact PLANT Populace Administration about Tiffa since they were rather adamant about keeping track of their population, especially when it came to Second-Generation Coordinators. But for some reason, his heart and mind were telling that that was the last thing he should ever do to this girl. She had gone through much to be here and sending her away would break her weakened spirit to the point where she would quite possibly never recover. But that came right back to dealing with the Administration. If it were determined by that particular part of the government branch that he was doing something detrimental to the growth of the society, he could end up losing everything just by allowing her to stay here for even a day. It was already determined what would become of her since her parents were dead trying to get them to reconsider that decision was like asking the leaders of ZAFT to send complimentary fruit baskets to the higher-ups in the Earth Alliance or even Blue Cosmos.

After weighing all the options, he came to the only conclusion he could.

'Well, he does owe me a favor and it shouldn't be too much of a stretch for him to make it happen' the old man thought to himself.

After making a small breakfast for Tiffa, the old man went back into the kitchen and made a call to a friend of his that was fairly high up in the ZAFT military. Once he explained the situation to him, his friend, who was ranked as a major and had a fairly well known military background, told him that what his plan would be tricky however doable. Once he was done with that part of the plan, all that was left was to convince the young Coordinator to stay which he knew wouldn't be too hard.

When he came back, he saw that Tiffa was rather hungry since she had already finished eating the eggs, toast and sausage he had prepared for her. Figuring that it had been awhile since she had a good meal, he decided to give her his breakfast as well.

While she dug into that batch of eggs and sausage, he decided to tell her of his plan. "Well before I say anything else, my name's Azumi Hatake and I am, in a loose sense, the owner of Pegasus as well as some other animals on this ranch. Now, I just made a call to a friend of mine and I'm wondering if you'll agree to an idea I have."

Tiffa stopped in mid-chew when she heard that sentence and looked at Azumi rather suspiciously. He could only let out a small laugh since he figured the young was thinking something else entirely than what he really had in mind.

"Don't worry, no harm will come to you in any shape or form but please hold any questions you have until the end, ok?"

Tiffa looked at Azumi dead in the eyes and decided that it was worth hearing him out first.

"Now, since it seems you're the only one who Pegasus will allow to get close to him, in the long run it would be better to have someone like you around then filling out the paperwork and spending a fortune to have that particular untamable animal shipped to Earth. If its alright with you, I would like you to think about being one of my helpers on this ranch. It can be arranged for you to live here in one of the spare bedrooms as well as be an onsite helper."

"You were going to ship Pegasus back to Earth? Why?" Tiffa stopped listening to everything else Azumi had said after she heard what was going to happen to the white stallion.

"Because of his namesake. From my point of view as a ranch owner, an animal that refuses to obey is something of a liability. Eventually, there would have come a time where Pegasus would have tried and escape these grounds. He has tried before to escape and I wouldn't say he go on a rampage if he ever did but he would definitely become a disturbance. If that ever happen, well lets just say the authorities wouldn't go the length to stop him without either harming him or killing him. I hate to say it like this, but the majority of the authority here are biased when it comes to protecting Naturals such as myself."

Tiffa could understand the concept but found it hard to believe that in this case the tables were turned in situation. Up until recently, all she ever thought was that the Naturals were against Coordinators but now, she didn't know what to think that was cut and dry.

"However, since now it seems Pegasus will allow you to get close to him, it would be beneficial to you both if you made the decision to remain here. Or rather, I should say, that you make the decision to partner up with Pegasus would be beneficial to you both." Azumi said while Tiffa reexamine some concepts in her mind.

After hearing that Azumi wanted her to be the white stallion's partner, Tiffa could only stare at him in disbelief. It was like she was asked to do something she had only dreamed about. However, before she responded to the idea Azumi had, Tiffa had to ask what in her mind saw as an obvious question.

"What's the catch? Dreams never simply drop in your lap just like that."

Azumi was a bit puzzled when he heard that but shrugged it off since her question did need an answer to it.

"Because of certain guidelines, someone like yourself cannot simply live here without prior approval of a certain kind. In order to get that kind of approval, you would have to do something you probably wouldn't like to do." Azumi looked right into Tiffa's eyes and got ready to gauge her reaction to what he was going to say next. "In order for you to live here, you would have to be enrolled into military school. Since ZAFT has both a training center and base on this colony, it can be arranged so that your living quarters would be here instead of the barracks which I'm pretty sure are about as comfortable as sleeping on a bed of straw. You would only have to be there until you finished high school level equivalency before you can legally choose where you can stay."

Azumi saw in Tiffa's eyes the one kind of reaction he both expected and knew that it was a telltale sign of taking the first step down a path that he was sure her parents didn't want her to go down.

"If that's all that would be required of me then I think I can stomach going through some military hoops for a couple of years." Tiffa said with very little emotion her voice.

"Not with that attitude."

Tiffa was shocked at how stern Azumi said those words to her. The way he looked at her, it was as if she had failed a test of some kind that was so easy, anyone could have passed it.

"What you've just said proved that you are not worthy of being the rider of Pegasus. I may not be able to ride him but I can understand well enough how he thinks and with that attitude, he would instantly reject you the moment you even got near him."

Tiffa was definitely at loss for words on how honest Azumi's words were. She didn't think much of her earlier words but after rethinking about them, she could see what it was that proved her unworthiness.

"You went through more than most would for just one animal. Even I cannot make such a claim for Pegasus as you could have. If you simply believe going through military school is nothing more than time taken out of your life, you're already losing what it was that proved yourself to Pegasus."

"If going through the military is something that will work against me, then why go at all?" Tiffa failed to see what logic Azumi had used when telling her about going through military school if it was the only way to stay in contact with Pegasus. What was it that Azumi was asking of her?

"You've told me that you had a dream up until you lost your parents recently. Anyone can see now that the reason why you came here so soon afterwards is to see if your dreams were taken away from you as well. Pegasus can see that too and that's why he allowed you on his back, to show you that you can still achieve your dreams. Going through ZAFT is in itself, one final test. Your dream is still within your reach but now, there is no one else who can help you but yourself but knowing this, you might lose yourself in search of that dream since now you know you have next to nothing left."

"What do you mean, next to nothing left? What else do I have?" Tiffa's eyes were screaming at Azumi while he simply looked at her passively, almost as if he was wondering why she didn't see what he saw.

"The life your parent's gave you. The first and most precious thing a caring mother and father can give to their child." Azumi stood up from his chair and began walking back into the kitchen. "Think about that for a minute and then tell me what your answer is when you've made up your mind."

For several hours, Tiffa did nothing but think of what was said to her. Of what everything that had been said to her through out her life until now. Eventually she came to the decision that became the final foundation for what would be her life from that day forward.

XXXXXX

Tiffa Ayanami made the decision to continue working towards her dream which at the very core was a dream of life. She may have sought only to see a simpler dream realized before but now her dream had grown and in a strange sense, Azumi was right about her joining ZAFT to help realize it. With the help of Azumi's friend in ZAFT, Tiffa was able to enter into the Mobile Suit Training Program but she was able to live on Azumi's ranch during the entire time. The only catch for entering was that it was meant for people who qualified to be Bloodhawk elites. At first it was hard since everyone else had previous experience when it came to piloting a Mobile Suit and she had none but she caught on rather quickly. It didn't take her too long before she actually proved she was on the same level as all the others and even less time to prove she was her fellow pilot's superior in terms of skill and judgment.

Because of her fast pace advancement, Tiffa was able to graduate earlier, which was a month or so before Junis-7 was destroyed. When the war broke out, Tiffa was sent to the frontlines in order to halt any kind of enemy advancement into the territory of the PLANTS. She did so with ease until the Neutron-Jammers were fired at Earth. After that, she transferred herself to become part of the military security forces who's sole duty was to keep the PLANTS protected. Tiffa's skills were well known before the war began so it was rather strange to many that she had chosen not to engage in as many battles as anyone else who were close to her level of skills.

Many had tried to convince her to reconsider her decision but Tiffa never showed a sign of even thinking about reconsideration. When she asked why she wanted to stay, all she said to everyone was that her reasons were her own and Tiffa knew without a doubt no one would understand it since her reasons weren't laced with biased views of Naturals and Coordinators but she never openly said to anyone. All she had to do to kill any kind of argument of how much more effective she would be on the frontlines was one simple sentence.

The protection of the people always come first than winning battles in a war.

By holding onto that belief, Tiffa was able to prove to Pegasus that she was still worthy in it's eyes. This was mostly why she took all of her shore leave on the colony to both help out Azumi on his ranch and to make sure she had not falter on her path she had chosen and Pegasus would know if she did or not. The quickest way to know was if the white stallion would allow her to ride him or not.

Since she was the only one that Pegasus would allow, Azumi told her that after the war was over, he would give her Pegasus and some land that he was able to acquire elsewhere on the colony. In a way, just knowing that the white stallion would be hers was more than enough to remind her why she did what she did everyday. In a way, it was the very same reason why she had quit the Bloodhawk elites after the N-Jammers were launched. She knew ZAFT would send them to frontlines with the sole intention of killing as many Natural as they could and that thought alone turned her off to any concept of what it meant to be an elite in ZAFT.

If her skills were considered to be that of an elite, then she would be an elite in her own right.

Three weeks after her resignation from the Bloodhawks, some people started calling her the Azure Pegasus and the name spread rather fast, like a wildfire. Whether it was because it was somewhat known that she loved to ride horses whenever she had the chance or that she turned down every guys attempt to be intimate with her, and some of those rejections involved her kicking them in the groin in a low gravity environment, Tiffa didn't know but didn't really care. To her, it was as if Pegasus himself had somehow manage to have the title placed upon her as another constant reminder.

Whatever it was that caused it, Tiffa Ayanami was glad it did happen. This was who she was and always will be.

As Tiffa wandered the halls of the ZAFT ship she was currently assigned on when her shore leave was over, her mind thought about the assignment that she was given as soon as she came on board.

Since there was a rumor going around about a major offensive to launched on Earth itself against the Earth Alliance, it was easier to understand why she was assigned to be an escort to several Bloodhawks elites and their machines when she was never given a reason why they chose her in the first place. Tiffa knew for a fact, as much as everybody else who was a soldier in ZAFT, that even if the Earth Alliance heard the same rumor as well, they still wouldn't waste resource to attack a ship that held ever few important targets. From what recent reports had said about their enemy's military strength in space, if anything they would gather all of their remaining resources for at least one last desperate attack against the PLANTS if they chose to go on the offensive.

Another thought Tiffa had was that maybe ZAFT was trying to bait her into thinking that she should join the others on the concept that they were putting their life on the line to end the war as quickly as possible. Even if they said such words to her flat out, Tiffa would still remain where she was because she knew from what they taught her in her days of Mobile Suit training, a battle can always go one way or another no matter how well planned the tactics are.

As she rounded a corner of the hallway, Tiffa was knocked out of her thoughts when she ran into two Bloodhawks that also busying not paying attention to where they were going. If there was one disadvantage that everyone could agree to in a near zero-G environment, it was the fact if you ever collided with someone, you tended to bounce off the walls after the collision.

Tiffa slammed back into the wall behind her rather hard but she wasn't the only one. After the initial contact, whichever of the two she had run into was definitely far too close for comfort. Opening her eyes and looking down where she felt the uncomfortable sensation on her body, Tiffa had to suppress the urge to throttle the male pilot as hard as she could. This was made all the more difficult when his hand, either by his own will or some sort of perverse reflex, went through the motion of squeezing said portion of her body at least three times.

"If you want to keep your left hand for the rest of your life, get it off of my breasts right now." Tiffa's words were definitely laced with the lethal intent of carrying out her threat.

"Oh, right, sorry. I didn't mean to touch you there without your permission. That is, um, I mean I didn't for this to happen. I am really, really sorry." the green haired Bloodhawk said with the deepest reddish blush that Tiffa had ever seen.

The second he finished blurting out his apology, the young Coordinator took a look at the girl he had ran into and then realized how easy he got off if her reputation held any truth to it.

Tiffa, on the other hand, looked at the boy with eyes that was daring him to say that what he had done wasn't really an accident. From her own experience, many times had Tiffa run into the opposite gender, Hell even her own gender, where the person she collided with had their hands on rather private areas and her response was just as physical but far more painful. If this was another of said encounter, only God could save this poor boy from Tiffa's wrath.

However, the green haired Coordinator's salvation came in the form of his companion that was walking with him.

"All of us didn't see where we were going so there's no way he could have known who he was going to bump into when he did and/or cop a feel at the same time."

Tiffa looked at the other Bloodhawk and saw that his hair was a dark blue and that he resembled someone that was becoming well known in the ranks of the Bloodhawks.

"You wouldn't happen to be Tiffa Ayanami, the Azure Pegasus, by any chance?" the green haired one asked with a tone of voice that said he hoped he was wrong but he knew he was right.

"That's right. I don't know you but you look familiar." Tiffa took a moment to gather her thoughts on where she had seen him before. "Athrun Zala, isn't it?"

"That's correct and this is my friend, Nicol. We had just heard that someone rather famous was being our escort and Nicol and I were guessing who it could be. I think its safe to say that there's no way we would have guessed it to be you."

'And I would never have guessed that the Bloodhawks would be letting children into their ranks. The way Nicol acted, he's probably never even kissed a girl before.' Tiffa thought to herself.

"Just a thought. I wonder, how much combat have you two seen entirely?" Tiffa already knew what the basis of their answers was going to be, she just didn't know details.

"We been in active combat for the at least last three months." Nicol responded in a rather proud tone but Tiffa didn't see what he could be proud of.

Tiffa couldn't help bet let out a small laugh at what she saw was a prime example of mental conditioning or rather the suppression of higher mental reasoning.

"Of all the talks that Chairman Zala has been saying about the proud young people entering into the war to protect their homeland, I come across two who are ranked elites in all of ZAFT but are obviously still pups themselves. The propaganda that they've been spewing out lately must have gotten better if people as young as you can stand to swallow the bullshit." Tiffa could only shake her head at the truth that was standing right in front of her. She started to become disgusted by it and decided to walk away from it before any of its proverbial stains got on her uniform.

Nicol and Athrun were rather surprised when she said that to them and even more surprised when she began to walk away from them. Athrun understood what it was that Tiffa had said to him since he was aware of her military record but only on the points that stood out which was enough to give him some insight into her character. Nicol on the other hand didn't know too much about her other than what her reputation had said so he took her words as an attack on the Bloodhawk's honor.

"There's no such bullshit when it comes to defending one's home. The Bloodhawks are soldiers whose beliefs are founded by the same laws of our homeland. We go the extra mile to defend that which is precious to us." Nicol said those words with a sense of conviction that Tiffa was rather surprised to see but knew it was based off of a limited view on life.

"If that's the case, why be a Bloodhawk?" Tiffa asked while passing a sideways glance at Nicol.

Nicol got in front of Tiffa to continue speaking his beliefs to her.

"We may be a special division of the ZAFT military but we exist to protect our homeland. That is true for all who wear the ZAFT uniform, including yourself. But us Bloodhawks take on the responsibility to even protect our own soldiers from the fighting. To make sure we do our best so that all of our troops can come home to their friends and family."

Tiffa didn't even bat an eyelid at the words Nicol said to her. It was exactly what she expected. This person had skills, there was no doubt about that but he didn't have a reason what to do with any of them. At least, the reasons he had said earlier wasn't good enough for him but it was all he had that could back up his words.

"I've heard those words before. Rau Le Creuset is rather the gifted speaking when it comes to getting the attention of those naïve enough listen to him. Then again, anyone who listens to what a guy in a white mask has to say is way to naïve to be in the military." Tiffa heard the words Nicol had said to her before. Essentially it was the exact same words the Commander used when she had graduated to being a Bloodhawk.

Tiffa could always remember how much she wanted to laugh he had finished. Her only thought she had after he gave it to the graduating team, which she could easily guess was vastly different than everybody else, were five words; 'Is this guy for real?' Sure his words were definitely chosen to inspire young recruits, but if he couldn't say those words without wearing a mask, Rau Le Creuset definitely didn't believe them anymore than he said them.

"I wouldn't be so quick to judge. According to your reputation, you left the Bloodhawks not too long after the war started. You were on the frontline for only a matter of weeks. We've been on it longer than you have." Nicol hoped his words were enough to hurt Tiffa her pride but she was impassive as ever.

"So you've killed people? How many or don't you keep track?" Tiffa asked with all seriousness.

"This isn't a game to me. I do what I must to survive and protect." Nicol didn't realize it, but his words lead him right into Tiffa's trap.

"That makes you no different than the soldiers you go up against. Sure there are some who are in it for revenge for a fallen comrade, some who are in it for the sake of hating the enemy but there are some who seek to protect those they care about. How do you know which kind of soldier who's life you end? Have you ever wondered what happens when you pull the trigger?" Tiffa waited for any kind of reply that either Athrun or Nicol would give to that but nothing came. Both of them were lost in thought caused by her words.

Tiffa knew that Patrick Zala's wife, Athrun's mother, was on Junis-7 when it was destroyed. Hell, it was more public knowledge if anything considering that all of the PLANTS wanted to know all there was to know about their new Chairman. It wouldn't be a stretch that either one or both of them would enter into the war for the sake of revenge. Since Athrun didn't reply, it seemed he hadn't gone down that road, at least not yet.

"I know its standard procedure to psychologically screen all recruits at certain points in their training to see if they have what it takes to be what it is that they chose to be. The thing is, kid, being a Mobile Suit pilot means you never have to see who it is your fighting or just killed. That alone makes it all the more easier to be a Mobile Suit pilot because you see, or rather fail to see, you've been conditioned to play a video game. And just like most of the video games that have been made, your final goal is to win the war."

Tiffa moved passed Nicol while he stood in silence. It took a moment for her to realize that she might have shaken all sense of resolve that he must have had. If that had happened, then the chance of him being killed in his next sortie were too high. Though she didn't know this Nicol, Tiffa would definitely feel responsible since she would have had an inadvertent hand in his possible demise.

"That's the reason why I left the Bloodhawks. I am myself and not some soldier who kills when my commanding officer points at someone or something. You may call yourself a Bloodhawk but in the end your nothing but a dog of war. Better decide now before you go back to the frontline if that is what you are."

The Azure Pegasus held a reputation that was not based on any kind of false fabrication. That meant when she spoke, her experience and her words definitely were a reflection of that. In terms that best spoke of the path she chose in life, her will bended to no one's ideals but her own. Hopefully, her words she had said to the two Bloodhawks would be enough to convince them to look for a truth that uniquely their own.

"Is that the only reason why you left the Bloodhawks?"

Tiffa was genuinely surprised when it was Athrun who said that. Turning back to see his face, Tiffa saw that Athrun was asking a different kind of question in his eyes. It was somewhat related to what he had asked but he was definitely asking a different question.

"Actually, that's the first on the list of reasons why I left. The first reason that usually comes to you for anything in life is one born of who and what you are. Circumstance may chance but in end, your true nature is what you always follow." Tiffa saw in Athrun's eyes that she had given a kind of answer that he was looking for.

But it wasn't answer where herself was involved. More like it was an answer for a question that had been plaguing him for some time. Whatever the question was, it wasn't Tiffa's place to ask since she had already stepped on some lines a couple of times when she questioned their status as a soldier.

"But what if your true nature is in conflict with the way of the real world? Aren't you naïve in the extreme in believing you can still be who you are when everyone else says different?" Athrun asked the famous Mobile Suit pilot.

"That goes right back to being a dog of war. Same principal, just a different name in the end. If you're ready and/or willing to accept the idea of being someone else instead of yourself, then you are incredibly weak where your own will is concerned. Life is never fair nor is it easy. This war is one of those facts about life and in it, whether both sides realize it or not, people are fighting to prove they are themselves as well and not what the public thinks. And that includes the ones who are not picking up a rifle and marching right into the battlefield."

She wasn't much older than those two but she definitely had more experience when it came to being a soldier and as much of what truths entails with such a lifestyle. Still, in the end, it was their choice when it came to how they use whatever information they come across. With the one named Nicol, he was looking for something that could help him better understand the realities of being a soldier. For Athrun, it seemed to Tiffa he was looking for something else, something to explain why something he had believed vehemently about was now being ruthlessly questioned. He definitely hid it well which was a testament to the training regiment he received but it was definitely a constant thought in his mind.

Tiffa resumed moving away from the two after she said her last words to them. Despite what she knew of them, Tiffa couldn't help but worry about something she had hoped would never come to pass. From what she knew, this war was dangerously close to becoming an act of condoned genocide. The responses that Nicol had given her confirmed that he was rather ignorant of the true concepts of war. Athrun on the other hand was beginning to question it and that showed that he had at least understood why wars should never happen in the first place.

In the end, Tiffa knew that just before the war ended, it would get to a level of almost complete insanity on both sides. This made her decision to stay where she was all the more well founded. If the majority of each side began killing each other for that sake alone, then it would be up to her and the few like her to save as many innocents as possible from the erupting bloodbath. Tiffa even thought about the possibility of having to go against ZAFT itself if it came right down to it. If things continued as they were, then that decision would be forced from idle imagination to life-altering.

So be it.

Tiffa got to where she was because of who she was and she wasn't about to back down just because reality was showing her a possibility that even she might not be able to handle on her own. There were many times where she stood alone whether she wanted to or not. If she stood alone on this one prospect when the time came, she would have no regrets.

After all, she was the Azure Pegasus. Untamable by all and a force to reckoned with.

Chapter two down. Haven't really figured out how many chapters there will be. I guess it will end around the same time Heaven's Lion ends and it won't be anytime soon.

Well, read and review. I honestly do want to know what you all of your readers think of this project as well as my other ones.

X X X


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